All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
