I think my vagina is haunted
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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