I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Randomize
