If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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