went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
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