it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
