He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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