Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
