I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she looked like the before picture.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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