Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
that is very illegal...i love you.
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