I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
