I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize