My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize