I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
