I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
