Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
