It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
His hands were made for my vagina.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize