he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
