shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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