you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
