Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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