her vagine was all disorganized.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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