I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
