I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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