This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
