youre lurking in front of me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
