She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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