Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
