My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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