I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
