No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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