Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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