Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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