Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
we should paint friendship bongs
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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