i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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