He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
