OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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