Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
