I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
