we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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