Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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