is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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