take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
