Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
