Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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