I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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