Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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