you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize