a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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