Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
