I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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