Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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