Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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