R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So squirting runs in the family.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
