i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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