oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
