if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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