Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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