We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize