singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
