i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
