I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
