Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
