Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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