# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
