I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
