We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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