Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you never un-have a 4some
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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