Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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