yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
