Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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