WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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