If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
