but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
