And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Terrible idea I love it
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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